Earth: Mostly Harmless

United Church of Christ News Release: SpongeBob welcomed by UCC

February 14, 2005 on 8:48 pm |
Categories: cartoon, funny, general, religion
Tags: cartoon, church, funny, general, homosexuality, religion, spongebob, spongebob-squarepants, united-church-of-christ

United Church of Christ News Release: SpongeBob welcomed by UCC: After the recent hullabaloo over James Dobson (of ‘Focus on Family’) suggesting that SpongeBob has gay tendencies, the United Church of Christ (who? who else?) invited SpongeBob to one of their churches in Cleveland, Ohio, with the hope of bringing about a spiritual rapprochement. Is it possible to file a lawsuit on behalf of a preteen movie star sea-sponge? While I welcome the UCC’s um… liberal attitude towards SpongeBob, I feel that he agreed to this church visit under duress (he was physically incapacitated due to being out of sea water, and may have been mentally afflicted by a loss of body salts) and as such was not in a position to make commercial endorsements such as these:

“Jesus didn’t turn people away. Neither do we.”

“SpongeBob visits The Pilgrim Press, the UCC-related publishing company and the oldest publisher of books in North America.”

If I were you, SpongeBob, I’d stay in Bikini Bottom. (Via MetaFilter.)